Clearing up the confusion

• If you grow up in Hawaii, raised by your grandparents, you're "exotic, different."
• If you grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers and shooting wolves from airplanes, you are a quintessential American story.

• If your name is Barack, you're a radical, unpatriotic Muslim.
• If you name your kids Willow, Trig and Track, you're a maverick.

• If you graduate from Harvard Law School, you are elitist and untrustworthy.
• Attend 5 different small colleges before graduating with a degree in sports journalism, you're well rounded.

• If you have been married to the same woman for 19 years while raising 2 beautiful daughters, all within Protestant churches, you're not a real Christian.
• If while your first (wealthy) wife was in the hospital and disfigured, you cheated on her with a rich heiress, then left her to marry the heiress the next month, you're a Christian.

• If you want to teach responsible, age appropriate sex education, including the proper use of birth control, you are eroding the fiber of society.
• If you staunchly advocate abstinence only, with no other option in sex education in your state's school system, while your unwed teen daughter ends up pregnant, your principles are of the highest moral fiber.

• If your wife is a Harvard graduate lawyer who gave up a position in a prestigious law firm to work for the betterment of her inner city community, then gave that up to raise a family, your family's values don't represent America's.
• If your husband is nicknamed "First Dude", with at least one DWI conviction and no college education, who didn't register to vote until age 25 and once was a member of a group that advocated the secession of Alaska from the USA, your family is extremely admirable.

• If you spend 3 years as a dedicated community organizer, become the first black President of the Harvard Law Review, create a voter registration drive that registers 150,000 new voters, spend 12 years as a Constitutional Law professor, spend 8 years as a State Senator representing a district with over 750,000 people, become chairman of the state Senate's Health and Human Services committee, spend 4 years in the United States Senate representing a state of 13 million people while sponsoring 131 bills and serving on the Foreign Affairs, Environment and Public Works and Veteran's Affairs committees, you don't have any real leadership experience.
• If your resume reads: local weather girl, runner-up state beauty queen, 4 years on the city council and 6 years as the mayor of a town with less than 7,000 people, 20 months as the governor of a state with 650,000 people, head of that same state's National Guard (without ever giving an order), and you finally got a passport last year, then you're qualified to become the country's second highest ranking executive.

Clearer now?

Thanks Anhaga!