Creating a virtual 51st state

What do you all think of this?

American citizens living in Canada will be able to use the Internet to vote in the U.S. presidential primaries for the first time in 2008, but only if they're Democrats.

Democrats Abroad, an organization representing more than seven million Americans living outside the U.S., is holding its first "global primary," allowing American ex-pats in Canada and around the world to vote online as part of a virtual 51st state.

Unlike Republicans Abroad, whose members must still vote by absentee ballot in their home states, Democrats Abroad is recognized as an official branch of the Democratic National Committee, and will send 22 delegates to the party's convention in August, putting its influence on par with states like Idaho (23) and North Dakota (21).

In previous elections, these delegates were selected in caucuses held around the globe, requiring American citizens to actually show up at polling centres. In 2004, a group of just 80 Americans gathered in Toronto's Metro Hall to showcase their support for John Kerry or Howard Dean.

But in next year's primary, Democrats across Canada can vote through the mail or on the Internet, and organizers hope to dramatically increase voter involvement...

Does this really constitute the equivalent of a 51st state, or is the headline deliberately provocative?

Presidential Ads, Take-Five

How about a little blog time for the more mainstream candidates? Of that group, John Edwards is perhaps the left edge of the ballot. But who thought they'd ever hear a Democrat, nevermind a liberal Democrat, slam their own party the way Edwards has done? Good for him.

I guess the conservatives aren't afraid of Edwards. Being a decent enough God-fearing person isn't enough to trump being a trial attorney, and the Repub's certainly made enough hay of that last time around. They conveniently always forget to mention that all their candidates, except for Ron Paul, are lawyers and professional politicians too. Need a translation? Professional politician = wealthy lying scumbag.

Presidential Ads, Take-Four

Dennis Kucinich may be the most 'hip' candidate running for President. He's a vegan, married to a British redhead with a pierced tongue. He has a MySpace page. He has a YouTube page. He's making extensive use of the internet, more than anyone else I've seen. He may not win, but he's out there swinging and talking about issues that are, or should be, important to everyone. You've got to appreciate that, if nothing else.

I'm not sure Sean Penn's endorsement is going to help Dennis any more than Oprah will help Obama, but it might get him some publicity, and we all know that bad publicity is better than none.

Nothing could stop the forest fire...

Dr. Paul and Mike Gravel

I like that these two genuinely like each other and see what we all see. Also, that both speak clearly and to the point, not like the other 'skirt the issue candidates'.

Each time someone tries to blindside them, they speak right up with a well thought out, make no apology answer... yes, they actually answer the questions! Something new I'd say.

Abortion?
Economy?

Presidential Ads, Take-Three

Mike Gravel is the little known Democratic side of the Libertarian coin, with Ron Paul being the other side. As with Ron Paul, I don't agree with everything Gravel says, but at this point, I'm ready to pitch out the usual suspects and give these guys a shot. He's got teachers, teachers, making ads for him. Not Madison Avenue, not some advertising giants, just a couple teachers.

btw, the "crazy" reputation? He gets that from the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter. They don't like anyone who can look them in the eye. They don't like people who *think*, and who believe, given the chance, that the average American can think and maybe understand the metaphors that the teachers were going for with their videos. They certainly don't like people who think and then aren't in lockstep with them (goes without saying, I know). What do you suppose Limbaugh and Coulter have to fear from a couple of upstarts like Gravel and Paul?

Presidential Ads, Take-two

That raving liberal Bill Maher has a new hero - Ron Paul. And why not? Of all the Republican candidates, Paul is the one who makes the most sense and seems the most interested in representing the American people instead of himself. TV commercials are sound bites, carefully edited and produced for Americans with extremely short attention spans. Whoever is doing these ads for Ron Paul is good. Paul appears less pandering than anyone running from either party, with the possible exception of Mike Gravel, who has no slick advertising campaign and gets no publicity whatsoever.

I don't agree with all of Paul's positions, but I agree with more than folks might think. I especially like that, at least so far, he isn't mincing words. Somewhere between Paul and Gravel is my ideal candidate. I wonder if there is any way to get these two to run on the same ticket...

Presidential Ads, Take-one

Wow, this is so...I don't even know what to call this. It would be a clever and funny commercial if Mike Huckabee were selling gym memberships or exercise videos. Unfortunately, he's selling himself as our next President.

For the uninitiated, Chuck Norris is almost as popular on the internet as LOLcats. There is a whole meme about Chuck Norris, about his toughness and his roundhouse kick. And it's funny stuff, especially since we know Norris himself is getting a kick out of it all (sorry about that).

But what bonehead decided having Huckabee do a parody of the Chuck Norris jokes was the way to get people to vote for Huckabee? How is having a sense of humor as important as having some real ideas for badly needed policy change? Is middle America really that dumb? I didn't think so, but Huckabee is from Arkansas, so maybe he knows something I don't.

Jeep Liberty

I'm not sure I'd call this a successful commercial, because although I like it, I wouldn't identify it with Jeep if the blurb wasn't there at the end. When you see a Clydesdale, you think of Budweiser. I associate brown with UPS - and I'm not sure that's a good thing, but as an advertising hook it worked. This commercial doesn't say Jeep any more than it says Range Rover.

I like it anyway. The squirrel is especially good. I do have one question, though. What the hell kind of birds are those?

Say NO to dirt

No kidding, say NO to dirt! Nothing like being all glam and sitting on a bathroom floor next to the toilet, preparing to sniff whatever, when the toilet cleans up for you! Imagine what it can do with the pee that, miraculously, always ends up on the rim or the seat?

Where can I sign up for one of these?

-- WABBIT --

!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!
AND THANKS FOR BEING SUCH A GREAT
SISTAH!!!
OXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Damn

This isn't a TV commercial, but damn. If you thought that Lara Croft stunt where Lara and Terry jump off the building in downtown Hong Kong in those flying suits was a made-for-the-movies thing, watch this. These people are real adrenaline junkies.



I wonder how long it will take for some kid to try making one of these wingsuits, jump off a bridge or building, and splat on the ground for lack of height and a parachute?

Kohler gets one right, or even two

Wow, time flies.

I've been seeing a great Kohler commercial, one that is a sharp contrast to the loser I've already posted about. This one is clever, funny, and not offensive to anyone.

A plumber has just finished installed a new shower in someone's home. Of course, he needs to test it out before he can say it's good to go, and so he does. The thing is, you have no idea until the punchline that the man enjoying the shower (which is pretty amazing), listening to opera, is the plumber. You find this out when he walks out to the living room and tells the homeowners, "That should do it. Enjoy your new shower." He's dripping wet and still tucking in his shirt. Good stuff.

Now here is one you might expect me to take offense at - the burned hair advert. Yet another commercial playing the dumb blonde card? No, not quite. This woman is shown to be a person of some influence and power within her company, yet she is so enthralled with her new bathroom faucet, she burns her hair off. Again, funny without being offensive.

Then there are the genius commercials they do in other languages. I just love the French philosophical spy advert. It doesn't hurt that they are driving my dream car, a Goddess. One man is waxing pop-psychological and the other gets frustrated and tells him to knock it off ... until he sees the toilet. Why not do this type of ad in English and run it here? Come to think of it, that might be the most insulting thing Kohler does.

Pedigree

I'm behind in my commercial crits and not in the mood to get into one that sucks. I saw a new Pedigree commercial a week or so ago, and it was just as good as all the commercials in this series are. I was almost in tears when I saw this "We're for dogs" commercial for the first time, and I absolutely cried when I saw the first "shelter dog" ad. They still get to me.

There are some funny ones, too, but I haven't seen them on TV here. These commercials are adjusted for use in many markets other than the US, but they all go to the same place. Straight to the heart.

I wish someone would make an ad like these for cats.

Verizon FIOS

This kid is the next rock star of TV commercials, the next "Mikey" or "Anthony". I read somewhere that he is very bright, very outgoing and loves to talk, which makes him perfect for advertisers. The problem is, he's so recognizable with these Verizon FIOS commercials, he might not get any other work for a while. C'est la vie, I suppose. Let's see if he makes the transition from advertising to acting.

SNL and their take on things

You have to hand it to Saturday Night Live. I miss staying up late and having a good laugh once a week. SNL does a fine job with their parodies. Payton is in soooooooooooooo many commercials right now. SNL picked up on the TV viewers feelings perfectly! I can't rate this one, but wanted to share it.

10/4/07 edit - SNL has a pretty funny video parodying the recent visit of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and his stance of "there are no homosexuals in Iran."

Flying hair

NuTone has a cute commercial running now. A couple is looking at a house, and as the wife walks around talking about paint colors, the husband is doing the more practical thing and checking the electricity. The bathroom lights work just fine, but the switch that is supposed to run the fan doesn't seem, to him, to be operational. He is unaware that his combover is standing on end. His wife gently tells him that the fan is working, and we get the punchline - the NuTone bathroom fan is so quiet, you don't even know it's running. Cute, and not insulting, unless you think the husband should still have enough nerve endings on his scalp to know when his hair moves.

Foreign TV commercials

Eat like a snake? OMG, can you imagine how that would play here? But it's too bad we don't have funnier commercials.

GE Wind Energy

GE has a winner with this tv commercial. The little boy clinging to his jar in the train is so precious, and what looks like a empty jar is not empty at all. Very nice. It doesn't hurt to have Donovan's first hit, Catch the Wind, as the music.

I guess I wasn't the only kid who saved things like jars of air and water, carefully labeled for date, time and location of collection.

There is a longer commercial about wind energy from the German company Epuron, that is obviously not made for US television, since it is two minutes long. Worth watching though.

On the Road

Key Dear came up for Queenee's birthday this weekend and brought me a copy of Kerouac's On the Road: The Original Scroll. Key Dear thought we could maybe all read a book every few months and have a discussion about it, so we'll start with this one. I know Anhaga has read it, probably several times, so it should make for a good discussion. Let's shoot for two weeks from now, October 1. S'alright?

9/11

It's been six years since the World Trade Center in NYC was destroyed, and while I don't want to dwell on all the feelings that brings up, I was reminded of another favorite commercial.

Budweiser did a beautiful job with this NYC tribute ad. Without one word of dialog, they pay their respects very effectively. I'm a fan of the Clydesdale series anyway, but this one never fails to bring a tear to my eye. Sentimental fool, perhaps, but so be it. I have to say I try not to watch the "Spot" ad, where the homeless dog gets sprayed with mud and ends up on the wagon. That one reminds me too much of the "Feed the Birds" old woman in Mary Poppins. I can't watch that movie because I can't get around the sadness of that scene.

Trivia note: the actress who played the Bird Woman was Jane Darwell. It was her final role of almost 200 film appearances. She was also Mrs. Dolly Merriwether in Gone With the Wind.

Kohler

Here's one that I find irritating on a couple different levels. I hadn't seen it for a while, but there it was early this morning, waving the 'stupid' flag. I would think men would be insulted by this ad. Maybe not.

First, we have a married (or at least involved with someone) guy who is so desperate to impress the gorgeous lady plumber that he starts flushing everything he can put his hands on. He must have flushed his brain earlier, before filming commenced. Are men really this stupid? I know of at least one who would stoop to this, but he is a vapid lying waste of oxygen, unlike most of the men I've known. I really want to believe he is an anomaly.

Second, if a woman looked like that, what are the odds she'd be a plumber instead of a model? Somewhere between zero and none? But it's a *guy* fantasy that any man can get the hottest chick in the room, if he manipulates her just right.

Third, "can't help it can't help it can't help it"? WTF? More excusing the poor guy for being stupid, thoughtless and selfish, because he can't control himself?

Crap like this could really radicalize me if I could take it seriously. At this point, though, I'd never buy anything branded Kohler.

Liberty Mutual

I've been trying to think of a commercial that pisses me off, but frankly I haven't been watching a lot of TV lately, so I decided to go with another one of my favorites. It doesn't hurt that these Liberty Mutual commercials are using music that I think is beautiful. The band's name is HEM.

I've said for years that I don't expect to change the world, but I think I can change MY world. I believe that's a good goal to have. Do the best you can, every day; be completely conscious of how what you say and do and think affects others. Lead by example. Take nothing for granted. Now I know I'm not successful at this every day, but I do make the effort and I do think about it all the time.

And that's what I like about these Liberty Mutual commercials. People are doing the right thing for someone else because it's the right thing to do, not because they expect a reward or anything in return. Someone sees someone else helping a stranger, and it rubs off, and they help someone in turn, and it goes around. It isn't just the person helped who is affected, it's someone who witnesses the act who absorbs the message and acts accordingly. I'd like to believe that the Golden Rule really could work, if only we would all pay attention and walk our talk.

I may not be the shining example I'd like to be, but I do try.

Priceless

The MasterCard Priceless series has been very good overall. One of my favorites of the current crop of ads is the Robot Dance. I just love this commercial. It's cute and funny and empathetic without pandering or making fun.

There are some good ones viewable on YouTube from other countries. This one for OxFam is truly gorgeous:

Others in this series that I've enjoyed are the Elephant, MacGyver and the Red Sox Series. Some, like the MacGyver spot, are a bit of an inside joke, and there are probably other locally aimed ads similar to the Red Sox commercial, but the point is establishing the brand. That they have accomplished with a catch line that is now part of the culture.

Not only did MasterCard give us a good series of ads, they've inadvertently given us a huge series of ad parodies. One of the best is Indecent Proposal.

Carry on, MasterCard!

Viagra

I present this commercial idea to you. And believe me I'm not saying this product needs advertising other than in a doctors office.

-Opening scene-

Man and woman getting into bed and the man reaches over with the "honey ya wanna fool around?" notion. She turns to the bedside table and pulls out a bottle of the little blue pills and says, "I got you a little something today from the doctor, (he smiles wide) so dear, you can't say if you don't use it you'll lose it (his smile turns to concern). So now dear, I'll tell you when you can use it."

Close with her putting the pills back into the bedside drawer and resting her head on her pillow, closing her eyes with a sweet smile, and a look on his face of OH my goodness, this pill thing is a problem I hadn't thought about.
-Fade to dark-

Now that men have the prostate issue under more control, and those old theories of ''getting some'' on a regular basis will help you in warding off prostate problems, they come up with Viagra. Let's look outside the box here: men talk about getting it more than they actually get it, so is the little blue pill really for women? For when THEY want it and not a limper? Or the occasional man looking, stroking at his manhood in the mirror type. These commercials that show an adoring wife/girlfriend/partner gazing at their strapping man like they just can't wait to bed him are driving me nuts. Is anything sacred? I can't help going... euuuwah... do they do it everyday? Twice or three times?? Who is that couple???? It's confusing to me, because that's the message I'm getting. Sex sells? What category do these fall under? I'm no prude but when they come on the boob tube my 14 yr old gets that geeez there's that embarrassing commercial again leave the room kinda feeling. Kids never want to think their parents actually still "do it" and need not have to think about it. What are they thinking when they find that little blue pill in their parents bedroom and decide to pop one themselves to see some big results. Dangerous issue this Viagra. Knowledge is wonderful, but come on...

Is that silly look on their face secretly saying I'm so glad I'm not in a personal hygiene commercial?

Need A Moment?

Let us begin. Some TV commercials are good, some are stupid, and some are insulting. In the insulting group are some of the current crop of Twix commercials. I've linked to those I could find online.

The one that is pissing me off most shows some guy out drinking and partying with his buddies and getting home in the wee hours. His wife/girlfriend wakes up and, annoyed, asks if he is just getting home. He takes a moment with his Twix bar, then lies and says, no, he's going in to work early, and starts redressing. She says, poor baby, and he's off the hook. Nice. Lie to the bitch rather than just tell the truth. No doubt it's her fault he had to lie, after all, she's just going to make a scene, so why not take the easy way out? Why develop any integrity? Another one shows a baseball umpire flirting with two women instead of doing his job. I guess it's supposed to be funny.

Now I'll give them the fat booty commercial, that one actually is funny. She asks the impossible-to-answer-correctly question, and mumbling while chewing on his Twix bar suffices for a good answer. They've even got a slap scene from a soap opera on tv. Well done. And the laundry commercial is very cute, just the sort of situation you can imagine someone getting in, and for a change, the girl actually isn't the butt (no pun intended) of the joke. Hooray, Twix got one right. So what's up with the insulting and stupid ads? They've shown they can do better.

Starting over

Now that I more or less have the hang of this blogging thang, I'm restarting the Elbow to do what I originally had in mind - criticizing and praising various items from the media, primarily advertising and entertainment media. I've long wanted to have a place to bitch about TV commercials, and now this will be the place. Hopefully I'll get around to starting up soon.

Those following the family news should go to Twisted Sistahs.